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| A couple of years ago a friend told me a good way to de-stress yourself is to write down all the things that make you angry or annoyed...
Then you read the list out loud...
And that’s meant to release your anger. So welcome to the “Angry and Annoyed” list.
Whatever’s annoying you right now, add it to the list and let it go. (Most recent entries at the top). |

There’s an annoying young lady at work, who repeatedly says my full name, and it’s certainly not because she fancies me. She’s annoying the hell out of me with this psychological abuse and she knows it. However she’s the managers sister at my place of work and I’m the quiet polite type who was brought up to be quite mild mannered and I’ve quite frankly had enough. I really want to choke the life out of the annoying bitch, so I thought I’d share this with you. |
| Mike, UK (June 2008) |
Ok I must admit, that although I pass by a flock of goats most days, I’ve not really taken much note of their bums. Thinking about it (more so than is reasonable) if I were to be trapped on an island with just Cherie and some goats. I’d get a lot of exercise chasing nanny about the place. I’d also like to mention Maidstones very own temporary traffic light festival. This can be found on many roads in and around the town. It’s an annual event that runs from the 2nd of Jan to the 24th of Dec. |
| Ron, Maidstone (May 2008) |
| Update - I brought a pair of bright green skinny jeans to go with my neon yellow ones… By the way, BRITIANS GOT TALENT… no we haven’t! the whole show is embarrassing… I don’t believe that the judges think that these people are any good! I mean, ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME THING?!?! |
| Kirsty Louise, South Wales (May 2008) |
| Goat’s bum ugly? Since when have goat bums been ugly? As I recall, goats generally have particularly pretty bums; pert, clean and often pink. Compared with sheep bums, one might almost consider them appealing. |
| Nigel ap Clark, Chalgrove (May 2008) |
| Elderly drivers hogging the middle lane of the A12 (northbound just after the Boreham interchange, that’s where they begin their campaign of irritation). All motorists over the age of 80 should be made to drive cars shaped like coffins, give the bastards something to think about as they annoy other motorists. |
| Mike Fordham, Essex (May 2008) |
| Every newspaper and magazine showing pictures of goats bum ugly Cherie Bliar. Can’t we just forget the whole horrid family, and so keep our lunch down? |
| Ron, Maidstone (May 2008) |
| Graeme Smith, Brian McLean, Stephen Craigan, Mark Reynolds, Steven Hammell, Darren Smith, Marc Fitzpatrick, Keith Lasley, Steven Hughes, Steve McGarry, Chris Porter, David Clarkson, Jamie Murphy and Mark McGhee. Bastards. |
| Teddy, London (May 2008) |
Dear Chedge… |
| Chedge, Midlands (May 2008) |
Women who buy things on eBay then never wear them. (JO says: “Mister Nice!! What’s happening in the land down under?”) |
| Reg, Christchurch (May 2008) |
| I do hope Paul Stanley isn’t scared away with these adverse comments; he’s the funniest thing on here. |
| Neil, Kettering (May 2008) |
I went on ebay yesterday, and ended up buying neon yellow skinny jeans! Meh… it seemed like a good idea at the time. |
| Kirsty Louise, South Wales (May 2008) |
| Charlton, Wolves, Bristol City, Hull and Ladbrooks. All bastards. |
| Teddy, London (April 2006) |
| People who make excuses to get out of doing stuff around the house !!! |
| Claire, London (April 2008) |
| Sarah’s assumption that Paul Stanley’s incessant whinging is somehow indicative of a lack of attainment or emotional fulfilment in his character. For all Sarah knows, despite what appears to be compelling evidence to the contrary, Paul could be a particularly accomplished gentleman with a perfectly balanced emotional and spiritual personal life. It might just be that Paul indulges in the inane activity of posting gripes to Jo’s popular page as a relaxation exercise to quell the frantic racing of an overworked mind, and, unlike some of us, not for the derisory satisfaction of receiving a paltry fillip to flagging self-esteem in the event that Jo considers one’s observation warrants an entry in the list. Sarah’s reliance on an obscure web page for entertainment; her intolerance of fellow sufferers and her failure to coin an original epigram suggest that Sarah’s own life experience might be a couple of titters short of a snigger. |
| Nigel Clark, Chalgrove (april 2008) |
| Cyclists who ride through red lights - what makes you so special? |
| Moogal, London (April 2008) |
| Coming on to this page for a giggle/comic inspiration and finding Paul Stanley still hasnt got a life and is still constantly moaning about stupid things. |
| Sarah, London (April 2008) |
| My Granny went on holiday and all she brought back was this lousy Terminal 5 t-shirt. |
| Jo Caulfield, London (April 2008) |
| I’m sick and tired of Dr ‘Bloody’ Who. To me, the cover of the Radio Times is permanently David Tenant and the ruddy Tardis. Also, just when you think things can’t get any worse, you find out that Catharine Tate is joining the cast! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Apr 2008) |
For the last couple of months I’ve been scouring the lonely hearts columns, looking for a sweet, sweet girl to, you know, stalk. So that rules me out then. |
| David, Perth (Mar 2008) |
I have a slap list, people I would slap should I ever meet them, vying for first place is Robbie Williams and Philip Schofield, others include Myleene Klaas (ugh - why do people think she is good looking), Victoria Beckham(double ugh) and many others. And where did Gary Rhode’s sudden posh accent come from?? (JO says: “I’ve got a slap list. Its official title is the London Telephone Directory but it serves the same purpose.”) |
| David, Westcliff on Sea (Mar 2008) |
| That bloody anti-perspirant advert, (Right Guard, I think) This is surely the worst advert I have ever seen. Nervous new teacher, stuck for words. Cut to male student who says “If it makes you feel better, sir, imagine me naked”, then turns to female student next to him and adds “You too.” Ugh, ugh, ugh, UGH!!!! (Shame they cut the ad before we see our fragrant, cocky young social misfit meet the grisly end he so richly deserves.) |
| Lucy Baldwin, Buxton (Mar 2008) |
| What is it with people spitting in the street??? I say people, actually its always men. Although last week I unfortunately witnessed an old chinese woman spitting in the street, she was outside the dentists…maybe that had something to do with it but PLEASE…..spitting is just stomach churningly disgusting. I wish I had the power to issue an instant fine, clean up order and a good sharp punch. Filthy bastards. |
| Salz, Wales (Mar 2008) |
I know it might not seem much, but I can get really annoyed trying to get a Weetabix out of the plastic packaging without having to get the vacuum cleaner out afterwards. Years ago, it was wrapped in that lovely waxy paper, and was almost a joy to open. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Mar 2008) |
Oh I know it’s an old chestnut but it’s the apostrophe thing. And the plural thing. And their and they’re. And your and you’re. It’s being mentioned all the time but nobody takes a blind bit of notice. It’s not hard to understand! What’s even worse are the cretins who think it’s forgivable. “But you know what they mean.” No I bloody don’t! Why should I have to re-read a sentence half a dozen times to work out what it means just because you couldn’t be *rsed to learn to spell. And don’t go whining about being dyslexic because you can spell the other words perfectly well. You’re just plain lazy. And it’s “could have” not “could of”. Gggnnnngghghh |
| Richard, Kent (Mar 2008) |
| All of the Directors of Opec. These guys will be getting millions for screwing up the Western World. Get them to Hell |
| Colin Hyslop, Hamilton (Mar 2008) |
| All of the Directors of The Assembly, Pleasance, Underbelly and Gilded Balloon venues. These guys will be getting millions for screwing up the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Get them to Hell |
| Duncan, Edinburgh (Mar 2008) |
Not poor, not rich, but everything I want is always tantilysingly out of my grasp ( including knowing how to spell). (JO says: “I was thinking… |
| Jim Treadgold, Oxford (Mar 2008) |
When you are different and people put a label on you saying that you are for instance “gay” or “retarded” even if you are very nice and helping! then they just repeat how “gay” you are and tell their firends about how “gay” you are and you dont have anybody on your side to back you up!!!!!! |
| Patrick , Cumbria (Mar 2008) |
The advert with the old woman telling us how wonderful a certain denture adhesive is when she does a gig. |
| Liz, Halstead (Mar 2008) |
1. SAINSBURY’S!! for a project, I needed 5 minutes in their store to measure a checkout, and after having sent in 3 letters, several e-mails, making 6 or 7 phone calls and many personal visits… totalling 4 weeks, telling me no! this was made slightly better though, when Tesco allowed it and fully arranged it within 5 minutes max. 2. Public places that clearly have marked 2 different bins, one for rubbish, and one for plastic for recycling… the fact that people still put it all in one bin… 3. Incompetance in certain people who still dont know how to pronounce the company you work for, even though you’ve been telling them for 3 years.
4. Windows Vista. I think that doesn’t need detailing. 5. People who swear between every other word. Theres no need for it, unless you have tourettes, or an I.Q. less than 5. 6. People who go on about something simple, but dont do anything about it. e.g. “I need a shave” WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME? GO HAVE ONE! 7. People that ask you how you are, but dont really care. 8. When the parents compare your results to your cousin who did ever so slightly better. 9. Spoilt brats that have to have everything their own way, and seriosuly complain when something minor doesnt go their way. 10. Stupidly thick comments. e.g. “whats the difference between the C. of E. and the Church of England?” 11. Someone trying to reply to the stupid comments “not too sure, because my mum is catholic”. 12. Facebook wall’s. Is it not a bit primitive to write on someone’s wall? 13. Facebook Superwall. Whats the point? I’ve already got a wall someone’s written all over. 14. Weather on T.V. why do you need to tell me? If its raining, I’ll look outside, and if you say its raining, it probably isn’t.
15. People who watch sport on T.V. shouting instructions to the Atheletes. “THEY BLATANTLY CAN’T HEAR YOU!” 16. Vegetarians. You’re point’s not getting across. The animal is killed either way. If you choose not to eat it, then, thats a waste of good food. 17. Bad Design of mobile phones. some are just poor, they snap after a week because their so thin, and the keys are too small to press with your fingers. 18. Covers of originally amazing songs ruined by other artists, or MTV mash-ups. 19. People who say lasagne with an ‘r’ in the middle. Its like they’re saying I cant afford their friendship. 20. People who ask you for help without even attempting it themselves, or paying any attention when you do decide to help. |
| Anthony, Loughborough (Feb 2008) |
Gary Glitter! He’s 62 and he’s having sex with 12 year olds. I gave that shit up when I was 19. Okay 22. |
| A Looney, London (Feb 2008) |
That advert they keep playing on radio and television where they sing that song about “Knock Off Nigel”. (JO says: “Every CD has that little sticker - “Home Taping Is Killing The Music Business” and I think: Good! I’ve heard Coldplay – I want the music business to die.”) |
| Jobbie Man, Bristol |
I want plain old boring porn - A MAN and A WOMEN!! Not… granny porn, midget porn, teens gone wild porn, porn with girls with braces (creepy :(, anal porn, group porn, gay porn, clown porn, animal porn, all girl porn, foot fetish porn, all blowjob porn, cartoon porn, any porn that mentions the words “mommy” or “daddy” (just ewwww!)…. (JO says: “Thanks for sharing.”) |
| Bee Mice Elf, New York (Feb 2008) |
People who don’t help save the environment. |
| A Nutter, London (Feb 2008) |
Hello Jo you are a googlewhack (JO says: “I have no idea what this means.”) |
| Richard, Sydney (Feb 2008) |
| Those who spend their time gabbing at supermarket checkouts whilst looking in their bl**dy handbag for their cards/money, when they’ve had the previous ten minutes of queueing time to do it. Do they find what they want? Yes, but only after finding their bus ticket, a year’s worth of receipts, and £50 worth of ‘10p off’ vouchers. |
| Paul, Hull (Feb 2008) |
| I hate the fact that my two sons had a shed load of Lynx shower gel for Christmas, and, because they hate the stuff and me being such a tight arse, I feel obliged to use it myself. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Feb 2008) |
Parents in half term who think their 6-7 year old children want to go the shopping centres. They obviously dont. They are dragged kicking and screaming, the little brats. Sarah 19 Appauled Pharmacy student (JO says: “One of my favourite stories from last year was in the Metro newspaper… A female sex toy was donated to a Marie Curie charity shop in Crouch End, North London. “It wasn’t in a box and had definitely been used before. We put it in a black bag and throw it away” said shop manager Kristian Hayward-Smith. |
| Sarah Hill, Norwich/Harrow (Feb 2008) |
I bet that U.S. spy satellite will annoy, by not crashing on Tony Bliar’s head. Arrogant slimy bastard deserves it. President of Europe! I would’nt want him in charge of my washing basket. |
| Ron, Maidstone (Feb 2008) |
My cousin put some Norton Anti Virus Security software on his laptop. (JO says: “Badda boom!”) |
| Ronald, London (Feb 2008) |
The guy with the moustache in the corner shop who wrote “Calendar’s, £2.99”. (JO says: “I don’t get it. Am I missing something?”) |
| Alicia, Sussex (Feb 2008) |
| Everton drawing with Spurs. I had Everton, West Ham and Man Utd down for a treble last night and they blew it. |
| H. Monroe, Barnet (Jan 2008) |
I was doing some babysitting and you know that saying “kids say the funniest things”? Now “drunk kids” - they really do say funny things. |
| Tammy, Kingston (Jan 2008) |
| I don’t think kids have to be drunk to be funny. A few years ago I was walking through JFK Airport with the family, when a really cool black guy made a remark to my 5 year old son in passing, about his fluffy spotted trousers, ‘Cool pants kid!’ He looked up to his Mum with a very worried look, and said, ‘That man can’t see my pants!’ |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Jan 2008) |
I saw someone dressed up like a chicken outside Car Phone Warehouse in Basingstoke. I’m not so much ‘angry’ as confused. |
| T. Mellor, Basingstoke (Jan 2008_ |
My husband went on and on for months about getting a ‘high definition television’ and how it would “enhance our viewing pleasure”. |
| Diane, Wivenhoe (Jan 2008) |
The moron who thought hanging wind chimes outside his home in a built up area of this town was a great idea. Now I’m popping Kalms like there’s no tomorrow all because of his complete disregard for his neighbours sleep and mental health. |
| Sleepless in Halstead, Essex (Jan 2008) |
| People who drive down my road and knock my wing mirrors into oblivion and think its ok to drive off without leaving their details…..4 times this year!!!! so angry |
| Lorraine, Newbury (Jan 2008) |
I will never buy a Halifax ‘product’ whilst they perpetuate making 15-minute stars of their sad bank employees. |
| Gary C, Wisbech (Jan 2008) |
| I died my hair yellow recently and someone keeps shouting ‘lightbulb! you should be hanging from the ceiling’ What if people listen to him? Worrying, especially as some lightbulbs are left abandonned in baskets in the garage. |
| Sam Bennett, Oxfordshire (Jan 2007) |
I read recently that just before his death in 2003, Adam Faith’s last words were, “Channel 5 is all shit, isn’t it? Christ, the crap they put on there. It’s a waste of space”. I reckon that a truer word has never been said. And adults who are critical about Harry Potter, when the whole damn thing is supposed to be for kids. Mind you, I still find it annoying to see adults reading the bloody books. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Jan 2008) |
| People. Just people. Particularly people who do stuff. Anyone who isn’t me is just annoying. I’m not too keen on animals either. |
| James, Scotland (Jan 2008) |
Jordan being named woman of the year by Cosmopolitan magazine. Jodi Marsh must be spinning in her pig sty. |
| Duncan Buckley, Blackburn (Dec 2007) |
First |
| A Commuter, Delayed on a train (Dec 2007) |
| Porn star names are daft arent they? Denzel Washingtongue, Bendy Long, Hung Well? Whats wrong with Tony, Gordon, David? |
| Lawrie, Bracknell, Berks (Dec 2007) |
| People who feel the need to comment on other peoples work. for example; I play guitar, no-one else in my family does, everytime I play something and hit a wrong ofrduff note, they all feel the need to comment… if they can do better, they can bloody well play it! =] |
| Rhi, West Coast of Alba (Dec 2007) |
I’ve decided that I don’t like this smoking ban after all beacuse it’s had the effect of filling the pavements outside various seedy pubs near me with sad crusties blinking in the unaccustomed afternoon light with their fags and copies of the Racing Post. Is this post too topical? (JO says: “I always think the people standing outside the pub are like an advert for what it’s like inside. |
| Steve, Bristol (Dec 2007) |
Intolerant people. |
| Bertie, East London (Dec 2007) |
Rhydian. He’s going to win it. And we’ll all get the idea in our head that sub-operatic voices are somehow a Good Thing. |
| Mark Gamon, Herts (Dec 2007) |
| Pantomimes! Even my kids can’t stand them. We took them last year, and you should have seen the look of glee on their faces when the curtains closed for the interval, they thought it was all over. We hadn’t the heart to tell them there was more, so we all made a sharp exit. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Dec 2007) |
Just to say first and foremost - thanks Jo for a very entertaining site!! |
| AlfieAnnoyed, MCR (dec 2007) |
| Pop ups from websites hawking their product for spyware and porn protection… which don’t pop up until their ad does… someone please, please, please create a program to eliminate their unwanted intrusions by sending them pictures of equine rears. |
| Mary Stewart, Memphis, Tn (Nov 2007) |
Teenage girls wearing ‘Play Boy Bunny’ gear, the majority of them don’t even know what it stands for! (JO says: “I don’t like the parents who dress their children in Play Boy / Play Bunny clothes. |
| Rhi, West Coast of Alba (Nov 2007) |
People putting apostrophes in the wrong place.
(JO says: “My Chemical Wank is a FANTASTIC name for a punk band! Let’s form one!! Who wants to play guitar?”) |
| Rhi , West Coast of Alba (Nov 2007) |
| If Katie thinks town centres are bad, then Katie should try the countryside: go out for a brisk walk and you’ll find the paths are cluttered with misfits positively rambling about, seemingly without a care in the world. |
| Nigel Clark, Chalgrove (Nov 2007) |
| It annoys me how slow people walk in the middle of a town centre - or how they’re going all over the place. No one can walk in a straight line! I want to slap them on the back of the head, just so they’ll get the message! |
| Katie, Manchester (Nov 2007) |
I have no idea what I want to do in life =[ (JO says: “Could be worse. My friend hates his job and he’s a careers advisor.”) |
| Kirsty Louise, South Wales (Nov 2007) |
People who are too quick to brand a person a racist after an ill-considered remark, often made in a state of futile frustration. Jane’s resort to base puerile name calling is likely due to a crisis of confidence reflecting issues of low self-esteem as a consequence of the academic under-achievement to which she was obliged by a childhood rife with deprivation and abuse. The seemingly racist taunt is then nothing more than senseless jabber from a shallow mind. It would be kind to pity her terrible feebleness-of-mind and explain in the softest terms that your Irish ancestry simply has no bearing on your ability to antagonise her evidently well-placed sense of self loathing. Of course with such a low-minded subject, you will probably need to repeat the advice many times in very simple terms and allow Jane’s subconscious to form an association that might override the primitive cognitive functions that compel her to abuse. Ultimately, a simple mantra-like chant could prove effective: “Jo – funny – Irish – irrelevant – Jo – funny – Irish – irrelevant – etc.”. (JO says: “Nigel Clark, Nigel Clark. Where would we be without you?”) |
| Nigel Clark, Chalgrove (Oct 2007) |
| I hate it when the council switch off the gravity for routine maintenance and then forget to switch it back on, fair enough I’m better at football all of a sudden but my ceiling’s covered in cornflakes… |
| Paul , Glasgow (Oct 2007) |
What has happened to TV adverts? |
| Jo Caulfield, London (Oct 2007) |
That I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes reading through the Paul Stanley rants… |
| Chris M, Nottinghamshire (Oct 2007) |
Jo Caulfield - blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah with her snot nosed, smarmy, looking down her bog trotting Oirish nose blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (JO says: “Dear Jane, |
| Jane, London (Oct 2007) |
| The news is now about what will happen and not what happened. For instance at 7am you will hear “The PM will announce blah blah blah in the house of commons at this afternoon”. |
| Lawrie, Bracknell, Berks (Oct 2077) |
People who moan that they are tired because they chose to go to bed really late after getting totally wasted. |
| Its me Sarah Hill again, University of East Anglia atm (Oct 2007) |
When you’ve been really looking forward to your favourite act coming to your home town, you’ve persuaded five friends that they’ll never laugh as much as they will when they see her, you’ve talked your boss and his wife into coming and you’ve even told your wife that you and she are going to see Jo because she’s so funny and not just the witty piece of eye candy you go on about, Jo cancels ‘cos she’s filming in America! Hope you rearrange the gig Jo. Good luck with the filming. (JO says: “Alan I am so sorry. I had the tour all planned, posters printed, leaflets distributed then… I got offered some TV work I just couldn’t turn down! Rather than drop dates here and there I decided to cancel the whole tour and hopefully rebook it for early next year. Sorry. Sorry.”) |
| Alan, Darlington (Oct 2007) |
I find it really annoying when close elderly relations say, before their birthday, ‘don’t waste your money buying me a present’, and, ‘I told you not to bother!’ when you do. You know very well that if you hadn’t bothered, they would have wallowed in self pity for weeks. Also, why do some old people live in fear of the dreaded ‘estimated’ gas bill, even going as far as declining an offer to be taken for a trip out to the Garden Centre for the afternoon, because ‘the man’s coming to read the meter!’ |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Oct 2007) |
Arsehole neighbors who think grass cuttings and old carpets are good things to burn. |
| Ron, Maidstone (Oct 2007) |
| Dervla Kirwans ‘fudahndreenk’ that you have to spend over £35 pounds on so you’ll get free crap from M&S. Whore. |
| Bernie, Cheltenham (Sept 2007) |
| I’m angry that I used to get bullied and ridiculed at school because of my spelling. The ‘masters’ (an ironic title, surely?) should have known better. And, anyway, it turns out I was just ahead of the times. I remember having it drummed into me that cocoanut had an ‘a’ in the middle. Ermmm… no it doesn’t; not now anyway. So I wasn’t a dunce, I was a trend-setter - or “in the vanguard” as we were encouraged to say, because it implied a greater knowledge of Middle English etymology. Nowadays a vanguard is anyone who works for Group 4. |
| John G, Surrey (sept 2007) |
Slugs and spatial awareness… separately, but they’ve both been bugging me this week. *… ‘comprising is a word that can annoy me too. I find it really irritating when people say ‘comprising of’. It’s either ‘comprised of’ or just ‘comprising’. (JO says: “Remember, if it walks like a SLUG and talks like a SLUG - it’s probably Paul Burrell.”) |
| John G, Surrey (Sept 2007) |
| When supermarkets start filling shelves with christmas/halloween/easter stuff around two months before the actual event occurs. I understand forward planning is necessary but that’s just a joke. |
| Paul, Edinburgh (Sept 2007) |
| Ricky Gervais. Is he really funny or it’s just hype? Is he? The BBC loves him a tad bit too much. He is always on BBC Breakfast promoting this and that. He is there right now, and I have used the power of my remote control. The Hugh Dennis show Outnumbered is sooooo funny but he was never on BBC breakfast. Ricky is not that funny. He is nowhere close to The King -the late Richard Pryor. If I ever see him on BBC breakfast again I’m gonna do the Mike Tyson and bite someone. |
| Lawrie, Bracknell, Berks (Sept 2007) |
Tried to get on to this site today in school, and it was restricted…. Yesterday I was coming out of Ross Noble listening to somebody critersize him. I wish people would understand that in comedy you will always be offending somebody, no matter what…. I hate people who get all angry and annoyed just over a couple of little things… (JO says: “Clever. I see what you did there. Very clever.”) |
| Kirsty Louise, South Wales (Sept 2007) |
| That woman who advertises make up who calls herself Nadine Baaahh-ghott even though her bloody surname is spelt Baggott. |
| Jon, York (Sept 2007) |
Sorry something else just crossed my mind-the fact that The Men They Couldn’t Hang are singularly one of the most fantastic band ever to have come out of Britain and hardly anyone knows about them. Scandalous. |
| Jon, York (Sept 2007) |
The self-satisfied, but totally unaware hippy-type who didn’t know me at all and who was also NOT qualified in any kind of medical discipline, but still felt perfectly justified in giving me unwelcome advice. On learning that my mother was having chemotherapy she patronisingly told me that chemo was “really unnecessary and destructive” and suggested Mum just tried “eating more broccoli instead”. Of all the things that have made me angry in the whole forlorn process of watching someone you love die of an awful disease, this supposedly innocent comment is still one that has the power to make me want to throw things. In my more evil moments I want to find the girl again and say I took her wise counsel and stopped the chemo and would like her expert advice about what we should do next, particularly now Mum has stopped breathing. It would be interesting to see if, in her opinion, broccoli not only has tumour-retarding properties but also has the power to resurrect. |
| Elizabeth, UK (Sept 2007) |
Here’s another annoying memory from the distant past. (JO says: “Paul, you need a hobby. No, seriously, you NEED a hobby.”) |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Sept 2007) |
Mothers who stuff their toddlers mouths with crisps the bus. Usually Monster Munch, usually Pickled Onion, always more annoying than the old lady sitting behind you sucking on a Werthers Original. And the old lady sitting behind you sucking on a Werthers Original. |
| Calças de ganga, Essex (Sept 2007) |
This is my entry on the Zimbabwe debate section of BBC News Have Your Say: This is insane, now I do not pretend to be an expert on politics or world affairs, but consider this: |
| Carl, Merseyside (Sept 2007) |
Internet pop-ups |
| Jay, Sudbury (Sept 2007) |
This isn’t just a now thing, it ALWAYS irritates me… woman that do their makeup in public, usually on the train/tube. Sitting there pulling all sorts of stupid faces, staring at themselves in a small mirror before adding on the tenth layer of mascara, tweezing hairs from their eyebrows and noses (yes, I have seen this!), elbowing whoever is sat next to them. GET UP EARLIER!!! |
| Kerri (Fallen Angel), London, UK (Sept 2007) |
Getting a message like
“Sorry, we were unable to add your entry for the following reasons: (JO says: “Sorry Klax/Rumplestiltskin, I usually update the Angry And Annoyed section everyday but I’ve been out of the country and didn’t have access to a PC. By the way I completely agree with everything you said about the BBC. Apart from that you’re a dick.”) |
| Rumplestiltskin, London (Sept 2007) |
| The fat git in the cube next to me with Tourettes. Picture this, all is quiet as we hack code when all of a sudden “HAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOOOOKKK” at the top of his voice. It’s like he’s clearing a river of phlegm from his trachea. Ugh. Oh, and repeat this every 15 minutes… |
| Ken Campbell, Boston, MA USA (Sept 2007) |
The fact that Radio One, paid for out of the Licence fee has been nothing more than an advertising platform for the products of the music business, the owners of which have become obscenely rich. The fact that the BBC pays Camelot for the privilige of putting on the Lottery programme. Its nothing but an advert for the lottery. Camelot should be paying the BBC (is there a theme developing here?) The BBC being criticised by the Government for not telling the truth. People who go on about the BBC. |
| Klax, London (Sept 2007) |
On holiday recently I saw a young British couple in a bar, giving their 8 year old sibling (who was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with ‘If You Think I’m A Bitch, You Ought To See My Mother’), sips of lager! What’s that all about? It’s as if they are saying, ‘come on, get it down yer neck, you’ve got to get used to it, you’ll be drinking gallons of the stuff when you’re older!’ Don’t people realise it might be possible that kids actually enjoy being treated like children! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Sept 2007) |
This lousy wet summer because a lot of my time has been spent killing these ginormouse bloody slugs. It was suggested I try putting some beer out for them. No such luck so the cosequences being it has made me so depressed at the devastation these bastards have caused with my crop of fruits and vegetables I have taken to drinking the beer myself to try to lift my spirits.The moral being these bastard slugs have got gloriously fat and I am now an alocholic. Oh well best get down to the off licence before it closes tarra X |
| Mary Goretti Murphy Pettitt, Woodhatch Reigate (Sept 2007) |
On my 16th birthday my mother took me aside and told me I was adopted. It was very traumatic – because I found out she was lying. My Grandmother recently died. The first thing we did was sell her house and I got a couple of thousand. I went to a casino last night. I got so drunk I thought the vending machine was a fruit machine. I was there for 2 hours. I won 4 packets of crisps and a twix. |
| Jo Caulfield, London (Sept 2007) |
Dan Brown’s Davinchi Code. I’m on page 47 since summer 2005… …and saying “true fact” these two words mean exactly the same. |
| Lawrie again, Bracknell, Berks (sept 2007) |
I’ve started, so I can’t stop… |
| John G, Surrey (Sept 2007) |
Everyone who says PIN Number. |
| Lawrie, Bracknell, Berks (Sept 2007) |
| And LCD display… Liquid Crystal Display display. |
| John G, Surrey (Sept 2007) |
| And haricot beans… ‘haricot’ is French for bean, so haricot beans are bean beans. |
| John G, Surrey (Sept 2007) |
PARENTS!! I mean come on, I swear that parents are just there to annoy the living daylights out of anyone!! I’m 18 and just about to move off for university, and i’m leaving my home, and family behind….YES!!! No more annoying and embarasing times for now! I know some of you will be saying ‘He’ll be back home in a Fourghtnight to do his laundry and get dinner’, But when i have a 4 hour train ride home, I think that’s quite unlikely. Imagine me sat on a train, Laundry piled high in the seat next to me, skipping lectures so i can get a home made meal and be lazy! I don’t think so! and I hate these people that say that education’s getting easyer, I worked my Butt off to get what?! a D and 2 fails and they say they’re getting easyer?! I’d like to see them have a go! People can get so cocky sometimes….End of rant, carry on with your Buisness (JO says: “Embarasing and Fourghtnight - concrete proof that education is not getting EASYER.”) |
| Michael Wilkinson, Hull, but not for much longer (Sept 2007) |
Totally agree with Kerri and religious nutters. I remember when I was a kid, a knock at the front door and following my dad down the hallway to answer it. It was a crowd of Jehovah’s Witnesses who said, ‘We’ve come in search of the Lord’. To which my atheist father (my mother was an Irish Catholic, confused childhood or what?) replied, before slamming the door, ‘I’m sorry, he’s not in!’ |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Sept 2007) |
The whole 10 year anniversary thing about the death of Lady Di…do we REALLY need to see the funeral again?? |
| Steve Murdoch, Edinburgh (Sept 2007) |
People who don’t keep their websites up to date. (JO says: “I’ve just got back from the Edinburgh Festival. I’ll have my diary up to date by Friday.”) |
| Andy, London (Sept 2007) |
Embarrassing farce |
| Nigel Clark, Chalgrove (Aug 2007) |
I recently turned 60, and I hate it! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Aug 2007) |
Religious nutters! |
| Kerri (Fallen Angel), London (Aug 2007) |
| Healthcare. I have Multiple Sclerosis and recently got married. I was on County health insurance (welfare) and it pretty much covered everything. But now that I’m married I’m about to get cut from insurance. My injections are $3000 a month and most healthcare plans consider MS a pre-existing condition and either wont take me at all or make me pay about $5000 deductable and I still have to pay 50%of the bill even after my deductable is met. SO what job can I work making $3000 a month, even 1500 a month around here is a joke. Even if I could afford what healthcare is available most of my injections arent even covered so theres really no point at even trying. So technically…well do I even have to say it. |
| Shannon, Cleveland (Aug 2007) |
BBC reporters (yes even the BBC is guilty) of asking people stupid, loaded, on sided questions e.g. re the recent floods - Interviewer’s typical question to person who has just had house flooded “So tell me - you must be really upaset about this - how do you feel?” “Great thatnks - I’ve just lost all my posessions - how do you think I feel?!!” |
| Alison Garratt, Isle of Arran (Aug 2007) |
I know I’ve moaned about repetitive TV before, but how come whenever someone gets a successful idea for a TV prog, they just keep repeating it to the point of overkill? Celebrity chefs, wife swaps, house makeovers, relocations, filthy houses, tracing family trees and talent shows which try to make superstars out of someone who can just about carry a tune. Now every time you turn on the TV, it’s some bugger walking or climbing in the bloody Lake District! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Aug 2007) |
1) complete DOBBERS who turn up last to a busy Fringe Show where there are OBVIOUSLY very few seats left and ask the usher “Have you got anything more central?” … get there early and queue like the rest of us if you want a good view of the marvellous people! 2)having got to the venue early to queue in a hot, cramped, faint inducing environment and hence earn (YES EARN) the right to choose one’s seat … ushers who have trained with the Hitler Youth and are intent on herding you into the crappiest seat in the venue so as not to leave any gaps … This is a rallying call to all Festival Goers … sit where you want, you are not a charity, you have PAID for your seat. (JO says: “I totally agree with this. If you come to my show you can do what you want and sit where you want. Why not join me on the stage? Hey, you’ve paid the money - come on, do it!”) |
| Patsy and Eddy, Edinburgh (Aug 2007) |
Loved you on Just a Minute tonight- no YOU rock! The staff at Primark irritate me. Especially in the Oxford Street Branch. I thought it was going to be the cheap bargains of Primark with the added class of a shop in central London- I could not have been more wrong. I was asked to put my clothes back on the rail because the fitting room attendant was going on a break. The place is a tip and then you put your own clothes back? are you kidding? and they get paid for that. sweet FA. Naturally I got an application form at the till. |
| Its me Sarah Hill again, Harrow, London (Aug 2007) |
Men with umbrellas when its raining. Why? I can undersatnd women with umbrellas when it rains because they’ve spent a lot of time, money and effort getting it to look good and if it gets wet we(the men) have to hear them moan about it for hours!! But men? First off we don’t have that much hair, and even if we do it’s usually short and manageable so it doesnt matter if it gets wet because we havent spent THAT long getting ready! And they dont even use proper umbrellas! They use those friggin huge golfing umbrellas!! WHY? It’s only water!! There’s only two people afraid of water: The Wicked Witch Of the West and Natallie Wood. (JO says: “The Natallie Wood joke was excellent! Didn’t see it coming then BANG! Loved it.”) |
| Steve Murdoch, Edinburgh (Aug 2007) |
To me, Formula One Racing is so incredibly boring. Round and round and round and round, ’oh look at me, I can drive really, really fast!’ Also, being a bit of a tight arse who thinks buying a bottle of Asti Spumante is pushing the boat out; I can’t stand it when they stand on the podium, spraying top quality champagne all over the place. Bloody waste! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Aug 2007) |
Ageism in the music business. |
| Anonymous, Edinburgh (Aug 2007) |
“Please Jo, just tell me, is there anything a decent person can do to make the bank trip more comfortable? - Michael, Sheffield ” Dear Michael, (JO says: “That’s good. Sort it out between yourselves.”) |
| John G, Surrey (Aug 2007) |
Those bloody picture loans adverts. ‘Dads found your scooter’ makes me cringe everytime. Oh, and Richard Madeley, do think he might actually let one of his guests speak for themselves for once? ! And Dan Brown for writing the Da Vinci Code ….. |
| Ruth, Edinburgh (Aug 2007) |
Julian Clary and his big packet advert (for Direct Flooring) - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
| Jane Edgeler, West Lothian (Aug 2007) |
What is the world coming to? I’m flabbergasted that the word ‘bollocks’ was said, not once but several times, on Radio 4’s Just A Minute today. Surely they shouldn’t get away with this? It’s repetition, isn’t it? (JO says: “I’m on Just A Minute next week.”) |
| John G, Surrey (Aug 2007) |
| Just over a week into the school summer holidays, and the ‘Back to School’ ads are up in Tesco. I bet that cheers the kids up! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Aug 2007) |
Look, this is a bit obvious but forgive me. Today is “pay bills in lunch hour” day, first the burtons store card (how middle class) then the bank credit card. Upon arrival into the lovely hsbc (always kept above 30 degrees c for customers discomfort), i see a total of two people serving and only one person in the queue. hurrah! i think…. ..however… …in just the one minute it takes to write out the credit card payment slip and count out 30 pounds in ten pound notes, the worlds entire population of change collectors, single mothers and the elderly emerge in the queue which now seemingly has no end. And surprise surprise, one cashier has buggered off, possibly to munch on a steak bake and talk to her idiot boyfriend about her mate soraya who called her a slag. bovvered. Twenty minutes later, I’m still in the queue waiting to die. Please Jo, just tell me, is there anything a decent person can do to make the bank trip more comfortable? |
| Michael, Sheffield (Aug 2007) |
| I’m vegan and I just found out today that the tablets I’m taking have gelatin and lactose in them =[ |
| Kirsty Bannister, South Wales (July 2007) |
ITV + Drama = Crap (Doubly so, if Robson Green is in it!) |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (July 2007) |
Bland noise pollution: Piped music with DJ "chat" whilst I'm queuing (yet again) at my local HSBC branch. How much Phil Collins can a person take? |
| Chris Parker, Hastings (July 2007) |
This annoying memory from my distant past is 40 years old, but it makes me just as angry today as it did then. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (July 2007) |
When my colleagues use the phrase "short like Gareth". |
| Gareth, Manchester (July 2007) |
Piers Morgan - Discuss..... (JO says: "No discussion needed. He's a prick!") |
| Kirsty, South Wales (July 2007) |
(JO says: "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Paul 'Mr Angry 2006' Stanley! And he's determined to keep his crown...") I have nothing against charity collectors, but I can’t stand it when they approach you, or rattle a tin in your face. I also hate it when you are in a hurry, and bump into someone you know in the Supermarket. I have a set procedure to deal with this situation: And I’ve just bought my lad one of those portable DVD players; the problem is the battery life is 2 hours, so when he watches Lord of the Rings, it has to be with a 5 hour interval! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (July 2007) |
Dear Jo, (JO says: "Take it like the idiot you obviously are. |
| Simony, Derby (July 2007) |
When I go to McDonalds and ask for a Black Coffee, the person at the counter always asks if I want milk and sugar with it. Am I missing something or have McDonalds developed a special milk that doesn't turn coffee white when you add it to it. (JO says: "Totally agree but I can’t believe your buying coffee from a big evil corporation like McDonalds when you should be supporting your local Starbucks.") |
| David Birtwhistle, Blackburn (June 2007) |
What is it with the price of diet coke in pubs? It's water pumped full of CO2 and assorted poisons. It doesn't attract excise duty but it invariably costs more than beer. All I can hope is that Chemical Ali takes the formula with him. |
| John G, Surrey (June 2007) |
Dear Jo, (JO says: "Hi John, good to hear from you. You are not a stalker but then again I am not a celebrity. I'm a comedian-by-day and crime-fighter-by-night. £5? I'm going a bit cheap. All the best, Jo.") |
| John G, Surrey (June 2007) |
Ungrateful women. It was the girlfriend's birthday last week. She loves reading, Pilates and shopping for clothes. |
| Chris, Warrington (June 2007) |
| When I take my baby daughter out in public and complete strangers come up to her and poke her nose or tickle her face or chin etc. How would they like it if I poked them in the face? Probably have me up for assault - they really REALLY piss me off especially if they have nice grubby or fag stained hands - nice!!! |
| Rachel, Suffolk (June 2007) |
What the hell is the point of double sink vanity units in bathrooms? |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (June 2007) |
Jo Caulfield is fantastic! (JO says: "Hi Dean, thanks for that. Why not send me your email or phone number? I'll give you a ring and we can discuss it. Or come backstage and introduce yourself?") |
| Dean, Hounslow (June 2007) |
GCSES! I have my last one tomorrow... but they are sooo horrible... Our whole future is decided on one test... |
| Kirsty , South Wales (June 2007) |
| I'm angry and annoyed that I keep typing something I want to add here but it keeps failing and reporting a system error. |
| John G, Surrey (June 2007) |
Now I'm even more angry and annoyed cos that one worked. What I was trying to say is: I'm amused, but I can imagine a certain high court judge might be annoyed and angrily wondering how come Stuart invented "unzip and illuminate" underpants on your show tonight on the very same day the judge had to show his Calvin Kleins in court to somehow prove he didn't expose himself on a train. (JO says: "Well done John. And Stuart is happy to know there's at least one person in Britain paying any attention to him,") |
| John G, Surrey (June 2007) |
After frequenting our new Tesco for a couple of months, I had my shopping trip down to a fine art. Being a typical ‘bloke’ shopper, I know exactly what I want, and where it is, and could be in and out of the place in 20 minutes flat. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (June 2007) |
Thought your radio show was brilliant on Tuesday. |
| Dean, Hounslow (June 2007) |
I went to a hypnotherapist to help me stop smoking. He put me in a trance where I felt numb, insensitive and unfeeling. When I woke up I still smoked and I had an overwhelming desire to work for the Post Office. |
| Les Thompson, Belfast (June 2007) |
Jo Caulfield |
| Al, London (June 2007) |
Everything coming out in “Limited Editions”. We bought a new microwave last Saturday and I asked him to read the instruction manual. He read it. He enjoyed it. He leant it to a friend. His friend enjoyed it. Now they’re trying to raise the money to turn the manual into a film. He’s a complete idiot. (JO says: "I agree, your husband is a complete idiot. |
| Tina Baxter, Chesham (June 2007) |
People that hate people they don't know. Someone like Angry George. (JO says: "See that, that's clever. Cause you don't know Angry George, so you're doing to him what you've accussed him of doing to Keith Allen. That's good.I like that. |
| Dean, Hounslow (June 2007) |
I've just read Tony Parsons new book. |
| Frenchy Boy, London (May 2007) |
Why is it that you can buy a £2.99 kids toy that requires scissors, pliers and a screwdriver to open, but they still sell light bulbs in a thin cardboard box, exactly the same as did in the 1950s, that can easily break in your shopping bag. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (May 2007) |
Right now I was promised an ipod. I don't have that ipod. I'M FUCKING ANNOYED (JO says: "Explaine?") |
| Aiden, Folkestone/England (may 2007) |
Jeremy Vine / Jeremy Kyle – anybody called Jeremy. (Pauline) |
| Audience Members, Windsor Arts Centre (May 2007) |
Just two days until I meet my boyfriend for the very first time in Canada, I pull my neck muscle and now I can't move my head because the pain is so intense (JO says: "Bauhaus, the Sisters of Mercy, The Mission, Dead Can Dance and Fields of The Nephilim were sitting in a graveyard at midnight. This joke is for Kirsty and no-one else. Love Jo x") |
| Kirsty , South Wales (May 2007) |
Getting my dates mixed up and missing you radio show! Also the fact that it is not on the "listen again" section of BBC radio webpage. (JO says: "No, you're still two weeks early. My radio show starts Tuesday 5th June. |
| Madeleine, Northampton (May 2007) |
| And I'll bet if he had taken that photo of Little Richard, I'll bet when he got it developed, I'll bet that wanker Keith Allen will have been in it, arm round Little Richard's shoulder, grinning away, and leaving his young wife and kid. |
| Angry George, London SE1 (May 2007) |
Back in 2005 I went to see Little Richard at the Civic Hall in Wolverhampton. Halfway through the show I left my seat and went down to edge of the stage to try and get a photo. When I got his face in the viewfinder, I noticed he was shaking his head from side to side with a ‘don’t you dare’ expression’, sheepishly, I lowered my camera. (JO says: "What an embarrassment. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (May 2007) |
Did I make it clear I think Keith Allen is a complete wanker? (JO says: "I did have to read between the lines but yes, I got the basic idea.") |
| Angry George, London SE1 (May 2007) |
Keith Allen. |
| Angry George, London SE1 (May 2007) |
"16yr old daughters who don't take their fucking contraception (Mike)" Following on from this ... daughters who subsequently get arrested on a Saturday night and trash your entire Sunday getting them out of the Nick ... grrrr Adoption anyone? |
| Mike, High Wycombe (May 2007) |
People who ask me why I don't eat meat and then when I start to explain why they get a bit nauseous and tell me to shut up. (JO says: "No, I don't belive this. This is one of those stupid Urban Myths. |
| Jonathan, York (May 2007) |
FRANK LAMPARD. I hate the way he unbalances the England side. I hate the way he kisses his ring finger when he scores. I hate the big "I'm Frank Lampard" attitude when people critiscise him. I hate the fact he NEVER tracks back and tackles, leaving the dirty work for an Essien, Makalelele or Hargreaves. But I do like that fact he has a face you really would never tire of punching. |
| Chris Rose, Oxford (May 2007) |
I know you can watch something that is ‘so bad’, it is actually extremely funny, but surely that absolutely massive audience at the Eurovision Song Contest, who somehow manage to maintain a totally uninterrupted, manic, genuine enthusiasm for over 3 hours have got to be aliens! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (May 2007) |
Jo Caulfield not coming to Cardiff! (JO says: "I'm happy to play anywhere. Contact your local comedy club and have them email me. Until then, the new Radio 4 comedy series starts Tuesday 29th May.") |
| Kirsty Bannister, South Wales (May 2007) |
I can’t believe Bernard Matthews is using Spiderman to endorse his meat products. (JO says: "Not interested in Spiderman. Or Superman. Or any of that superhero/Sci Fi rubbish. The new Radio 4 comedy series starts Tuesday 29th May.") |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (May 2007) |
Are you Elton John? Are you Bono? Are you Madonna, Michael Jackson or Angelina Jolie? If you can answer 'yeah I am' to one or more of the above questions I am the man for you. I will break into your homes one fine, warm night whilst you sleep and kidnap you at gun point. |
| Paul Browne, Muswell Hill (May 2007) |
University costs and the loans we are expected to take out... I am 21 now and only in my first year at Uni. I have worked myself to the bone (60+ hour weeks anyone?) for several years including going through college after moving to the UK and not getting to finish High School in the USA. After 2 years of mind numbing lecturers and seemingly retarded fellow students, I was finally in a position to apply to the University of Herts for a degree in Motorsport engineering in 2005. I applied for loans and was told that all was well because I am a british citizen and my family hasn't two pennies to rub together. The summer of '05 went by and I worked harder than ever before. I was ready to start my serious education. In the first week of september I gave my notice to my employers at the local village auto garage and began packing my belongings; but something very important hadn't arrived. I was less than two weeks away from moving into overpriced Uni accomodation and still hadn't recieved any written confirmation of my loans and bursaries, despite having to jump through a myriad hoops to get registered and submit the correct and required information to the government-run loans company! So I made a call only to be told by the surly scottish woman that I was, in fact, not eligible for a student loan until the next year (when I would have been resident in the country for 3 years)!! I considered my options; defer my place for another year, or take out a personal loan for my first year's costs... After consulting the loans company, I was then informed that if i did the latter, I would not EVER be eligible for a proper student loan through them for the duration of my 5-year course!!! It was clear I had to wait another year. As if the tuition rates were not hefty enough for a young man like myself with no money in my family, I was told that I would have to pay the next year's new tuition rates (£3000 compared to the previous £1175 per year), simply because I had to defer my place after the last day of August due to the loans company's poor communications!!! To add several more swifts kicks to my testes, It is clear that the course has not changed in the least since the previous year, and even after paying more than double the previous rates, I still had to buy all my own books, paper, and even cd's and folders for submitting work!! This year is now nearly over and I wonder how many people on my course have dropped out, or worse, are putting in just enough effort to get by with passes, who have been granted the same loans and bursaries several YEARS before i got to start! And I paid 22% basic rate income tax for years of work here so they could freeload? Not to mention all the sociology, media studies and english students who spend my hard earned money drinking at the Uni bar and will finish with useless degrees that weaken the value of my degree in the workforce, and who will eventually end up living on the dole (that I will be paying taxes for) anyway!!! Maybe if all these so-called students went out and worked since they were 14 like myself, there would be some respect for people honestly trying to find a way from rags to a comfortable life through education and self-improvement? And ignorant snobs here have the nerve to call me a lazy, money-draining student? |
| Alden Markby, Hatfield, North London (May 2007) |
Truckers. Bastard Truckers. |
| Jonathan, York (May 2007) |
I don’t have a problem with people in the entertainment industry earning loads of money. But how come Noel Edmonds, who earns 1.3 million for Deal or No Deal, has the audacity to tell contestants that 35,000 quid is a ‘life changing’ amount of money! Also, he has a book out called ‘Positively Happy’, which his publisher describes as: "It's a powerful and engaging self help book that will show readers how they, like Noel, can achieve happiness". Surely, being a multi-millionaire gives him a bit of head’s start; if I had his kind of money my book would be called ‘Absolutely Deliriously Happy!’ |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Apr 2007) |
I have to disagree with Helen, with regard to Russell Brand. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Apr 2007) |
Having to be in a quiet carriage when I didn't want to be. |
| Steve Jones, London (Apr 2007) |
I am a very sad person. |
| The Unforgiven, Close To Home (Apr 2007) |
The way Americans just cannot get their heads around ‘irony’. On a visit a few years ago, I was in a ‘thrift store’, and when I got to the checkout I noticed a sign saying ‘10% Discount for over 55s’. As I was 54, I thought I would try it on, and told the girl I was 55, to which she replied ‘It’s ok. I’ve already deducted it’. So I wryly said ‘thanks a lot, you’ve made my day!’ All I got was a blank look, so I made an embarrassed exit, leaving a totally bemused assistant in my wake. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford |
I hate it when I get a party invite and the dress code is smart/casual. But the most annoying thing in my life at the moment is charging up electrical appliances. COMING SOON: |
| Jo Caulfield, London (Apr 2007) |
Russell Brand. |
| Helen Purves, London (Apr 2007) |
| I am on night duty. How can I go 10 hrs without a ciggie? |
| Elaine , Immingham NE Lincs (Apr 2007) |
When websites say 'Coming Soon' for months and months. When are your long awaited CD & DVD coming out?! The last Radio 4 series was superb and I need another dose of JC soon! (JO says: "The DVD will be available on Monday 28th May. |
| Carl, Morecambe (Apr 2007) |
The thing that has most recently angered and annoyed me is the ridiculous number of cyclists who use their mobile phones while cycling. They really do think they are above the law on everything! What next, cycling murderers who get away with nothing more than the disapproving glares from passers by?! (JO says: "I know what you mean. I was driving down Wood Green High St and I saw the guy in the car in front of me was using his mobile phone – so arrogant, I hate that. So I started beeping my horn. I followed him for atleast 10 minutes, continually beeping my horn. Finally he heard me and turned round – and he wasn't on the phone. He just had really big ears. That was a complete waste of 10 minutes.") |
| Carl, Morecambe (Apr 2007) |
The way that all Radio 2 morning presenters speak in that ridiculous Harry Secombe/Brian Blessed/general Goon Show derivative theatrical intonation in a failed attempt to make everything they utter seem humorous or entertaining. They get progressively worse until Ken Bruce, who is so stupifyingly bland and unfunny it actually hurts. His undoubtedly hefty share of licence payers hard earned cash only encourages him and perpetuates his obvious delusion. (JO says: " 'Ranttastic!' You lost it all there. That's the kind of thing Radio 2 morning presenters say in a ridiculous Harry Secombe/Brian Blessed/general Goon Show derivative theatrical intonation.") |
| Carl, Morecambe (Apr 2007) |
Easter eggs. |
| Nigel Clark, Chalgrove (Apr 2007) |
I don’t like Bono from U2. COMING SOON: |
| Jo Caulfield, London (Apr 2007) |
I used to think there was nothing more annoying than TV ads that try to sell you loans. But there is. TV ads for loans that, instead of using actors, actually use their own staff, who are dull, unattractive people, with droning monotone voices, trying to talk you into getting even deeper in debt. I would rather be conned by an actor anyday. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Apr 2007) |
The way Uncle Rebus makes me sit in the garden, naked except for a monkey mask, in order to scare the postman. Or does he? Or does he?? (JO says: "I think you're getting off lightly there. If I were your Uncle Rebus you'd also be bruised and bleeding.") |
| Spuddha, Wokingham, Berkshire (Apr 2007) |
| People using their mobile phones in the quiet carriage of the train, when the signs at the entrance to the carriage clearly state that this is prohibited. |
| John, Bury (Apr 2007) |
Talk about ‘you’re so vain’! (JO says: "See what he did there? Paul started off with 'You're so vain' then went on to talk about Carly Simon. That's class, that is. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Apr 2007) |
This is directed at Dave Morris, a bloke I work with who seems to think it is funny to go the canteen at lunchtime, stuff his face with liver and onions, come back to work and then burp repeatedly, thus filling the work enviroment with the wonderful odour of half-digested offal. |
| Jonathan, York (Mar 2007) |
SOFTWARE THAT IS NEVER R&D'D FULLY AND THEN RE-ISSUED UMPTEEN TIMES AS VERSION 6.1.1.2.1 ILL THOUGHT OUT CRAP WEBSITES DESIGNED BY IDIOTS BANKS ALLMOST EVERY COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY IN THE WORLD WHO SHOULD BE IN ANY BUSINESS EXCEPT THAT OF COMMUNICATION REALITY TV SHOWS LETTERS SIGNED FROM SENIOR PERSONNEL WHO WHEN YOU TRY TO TALK TO THEM ON THE PHONE ARE "NON CUSTOMER FACING" WELL THEN DONT F***ING WRITE TO ME A***HOLES !!!!! |
| David, Newmarket (Mar 2007) |
When you see an ad from your 'TV/Phone/Broadband' supplier, offering the same services that you have, for nearly half the price, and written in small print is, 'does not apply to existing customers'! |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Mar 2007) |
I get annoyed at the way people I know always say "Oh isn't he the one with the awful teeth?" when they pick up and investigate my Shane Macgowan CD's. "Yes" they say, "He really is very ugly isn't he ?" Bastards.He may not be a looker but he is a genius and I was always told to never judge anyone by their appearance. (JO says: "Shane Macgowan, Joe Strummer, David Bowie. Three sets of bad teeth, two great songwriters. Discuss.") |
| Jonathan, York (Mar 2007) |
| Having to visit my elderly mother in her care home. She can no longer see and no longer move without help. I'm angry at having to feel pity because she was a neglectful mother who lost custody of us because of this. I'm angry that she refused to meet my half sister, who I discovered only ten years ago at the age of sixty, that she also gave up another child, and that she has shown no interest in my own children. And yet I appear to have no choice but to be the only visitor she has. I'm angry today because I should go and yet I don't want to. Every cell in my body screams, keep away, she's toxic. |
| Maggie, United Kingdom (Mar 2007) |
The incorrect use of the word literally- in sports commentary for example "he literally decapitated him" (when he obviously didn't). Infinity- or more specifically when people talk about it - If an infinite amount number of chimpanzees had an infinite amount of typewriters, eventually one would write the complete works of Shakespeare. Prove it. What a tenuous example- i think an infinite amount of moths, chewing an infinite amount of clothes into an infinite amount of letters to make the complete works of shakespeare conveys a more realistic sense of infinity...maybe. Other things... Gillian McKeith and Claire Sweeney - please stop poisoning my eyes. |
| Jonny P, Leeds (Mar 2007) |
The over use and incorrect use of the word "obviously". |
| Susie, Suffolk (Mar 2007) |
A quote from an actor, in a recent Radio Times interview, who has reached the dizzy heights of joining Eastenders. |
| Paul Stanley, Stafford (Mar 2007) |
We have bendy buses, not hover cars. The future of travel was supposed to be a personal hover car, with a bubble roof, not an overextended, junction-blocking, incendiary charabanc. |
| Giles, London |
Your friends NT... who are now under trading in Oxfordshire as Virgin Media. With out consultation Virgin took over, put up the prices and has failed to secure a deal with Sky who provide most of his channels. see link for more details. www.virginmedia.com/fairplay |
| Skypilot , Oxfordshire (Feb 2007) |
I hate “Take Five” by Dave Brubeck. |
| Neil, Royal Tunbridge Wells (Feb 2007) |
The English Parlour Game known as 'Tommy's Out !' |
| Sven, Sveden (Feb 2007) |
I hate that you’re not allowed to take photos in the Customs area at the airport. |